Life thus far in pictures

Baby Therapy

Numerous times a week we visit the transportation hub Retiro. This is where WMF Argentina has been building relationships with individuals who are in situations of homelessness and unsustainable living. Many of our friends come to the station everyday to sell newspapers or ask for loose change from those who visit the ticket booths.

We spend our time sitting with friends on the train station floor sharing a gourd of the typical and popular drink mate, coloring with the kids, and sharing in conversation. I tend to fail miserably at the conversation aspect. I end up usually asking them to repeat a question three times before they just give up on me as a hopeless case. Because of my inability to interact through conversation I find myself struggling with navigating my time as we sit with these friends. It really is a learned practice of being open to the moment. It is challenging not to feel as if my presence is useless and instead find peace in being present, simply present, as we share in their day to day routine.

Most times, when possible, I choose to interact with the younger children where speaking seems less obligatory. Sometimes it is in coloring a picture or playing a simple little game of flicking a piece of rock back and forth. I have many memories from my previous experience running around with the kids shamelessly all over the train station. Those are sweet memories.

Monday I experienced a pure dose of baby therapy. One of our friends has a 6 month old little girl that was with her that day. At 6 months old she is tiny and fragile, like a baby doll, though her cheeks are full and quite kissable. Her hair is black and soft and curls at the ends. But it is her eyes that capture you immediately- dull blue, almost grey. I was eyeing her as she sat quite content in her mother’s lap before I summoned the words to ask if I could hold her. Her mother willingly passed her over. She came to me easily and I felt how truly fragile her little body is. I could tell that this little one was sleepy and figured I would attempt to lull her to sleep. She fought me for some time, not by crying or wriggling around, but she’d be still enough to deceive me into thinking she was asleep only to find that those blue-grey eyes were still open and gazing over my shoulder. I stood with her in my arms singing little tunes and the song “La nina de Tus Ojos” in her ear. "Y me diste nombre. Yo soy tu nina, la nina de tus ojos, porque me amaste a mi." And her head began to sag and lay on my shoulder. I spoke to her in English of peace and rest, praying that she would dream of a place where she is warm and safe. She stirred as I spoke and thinking that perhaps it was because of hearing unknown words I began to speak to her in Spanish as she nodded back to sleep.

As she slept peacefully in my arms the station continued to buzz with commotion, people continued to pass by without a glance our way but I was at peace. Nothing else seemed to matter but this little girl. Nothing else seemed to matter but speaking to her about hope- esperanza; that she would know that Jesus died for her so that she can have hope for a better life, a life that runs deep with love from the one who calls her His own.

As I handed her back to her mother she awoke without a fuss and sat content again just as before. It was as if for that moment while she slept in my arms life was on pause, as if that moment was just for us, for she and I to share. It was a moment of intimacy with baby girl but more deeply with my Jesus who says “Your presence is enough, Grace. For there I am. Even in your words, there I am. I AM”

God referred to Himself as I AM in scripture. He introduced Himself as I AM to Moses who claimed to be “slow of speech and tongue.”

I may not be able to communicate well but I can be. To be present is enough. Whether it’s in the act of sharing mate or holding baby girl, I’ll take it.

I have one word for you

surreal.
It still takes time to sink in that I am indeed back in Buenos Aires.
We (Carrie- the other intern- and I) arrived Monday to heat and humidity that was like a slap in the face! Luckily the storm on Tuesday night sucked some of the humidity away and the past few days have been bearable.
I am staying in the same neighborhood and in fact the same church as I did a year and a half ago. The church has set aside a small space in the back of the church for Carrie and I to stay- similar to a small dorm room. We experienced a few mishaps our first days here; actually to be more precise within our first few hours here. A busted pipe in the bathroom within our room caused some excitement as we scrambled around to stop the spray of water and figure out how to turn off the water. Due to this leak we went without water in our room for a day; nothing we could not bear. In the midst of the small hiccups the church has been so gracious and accomodating as they have scrambled around trying to make us feel at home. Fortunately, we can find humor in these situations and feel nothing but gratitude.
There is so much here that feels natural. Navigating the familiar streets in Barracas, La Boca, and to and from the train station has come easy. I am so thankful that, for the most part, Spanish is making it's way back into the forefront of my mind. I am surprised at how much I am understanding. It is that darn attempt at communicating where the words get jumbled, flipping vowels and tenses, as they move from my brain to my mouth. But everyone has been patient. And Carrie, with her immense capability with the language, has been a huge help.
While much of my return has felt natural there are aspects that have made this new transition difficult. I prepped myself as much as I could for the differences from my last experience, but certainly that has not lessened the blow that change brings. I was accustomed to navigating these streets and daily experiences with my fellow servant team members and their absence is hard to get used to.
The Deans, our servant team leaders who walked so closely with us in daily life and experiences, have since returned to life in the U.S. I miss them terribly. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to spend a few days with them prior to my departure to Argentina. Those days were such a gift but I do miss their presence here.
What has brought me more joy than seeing familiar places these past few days is reconnecting with friends. Dave, Walter, and Adriana are among the WMF staff still present in the city. Having experienced the past journey alongside them before has brought a strong sense of stability for this new journey. I have been able to reconnect with a few of the church members but am looking forward to the church pic-nic tomorrow and Sunday service where more opportunities for reconnecting will be available.
What has brought me more joy than seeing familiar places these past few days is reconnecting with friends. Dave, Walter, and Adriana are among the WMF staff still present in the city. Having experienced the past journey alongside them before has brought a strong sense of stability for this new journey. I have been able to reconnect with a few of the church members but am looking forward to the church picnic tomorrow and Sunday service where more opportunities for reconnecting will be available.And of course there are friends from Retiro, the transportation hub where many of our friends who are experiencing homelessness make their living. We were able to visit yesterday and spend a couple hours sitting on the floor coloring with the kids, talking, and of course sharing the popular and common drink mate. There were many new faces and still some who I had hoped to see that were absent- it is common in the culture of those who make a living on the street to experience such flux.
One of the greatest moments of reconnection was with my dear friend Mary. We were able to see her on Tuesday as we went on a tour of the city and stopped by the supermarket where she works outside. It was a strange moment of joy and pain as we passed some time standing there with her. Seeing her brought a smile that stretched wide and seemed determined to expand beyond the confines of my face; more joy than I can express. As she updated us on her recent struggles her tearful eyes broke my heart and my smile faded to tears. I anticipate that this journey will be full of moments where joy and pain collide.
Today as Carrie and I were walking from La Boca to our home at the church I saw a friend of the Deans that I had not yet been able to connect. He was riding his bike down the street and I immediately jumped from the sidewalk and called out his name. We did not spend a lot of time with his family before so he was confused at first but after explaining that I am friends with the Deans he recognized me immediately. We stood with him for a while talking and gathering information to connect later. The Deans shared much about their hospitality and his graciousness was evident as he talked with us and communicated openness to come to them with whatever needs we may have. It really was a gift to happen upon him.

I am looking forward to visiting more familiar hot spots and more than that reuniting with friends.

In the midst of the mixture of emotions I feel God’s constant peace reigning over me.