language, peanut butter and jelly, and cards

I have not written in my journal in a while nor have I blogged recently, so I feel a bit overwhelmed trying to catch up with my thoughts, processes, and experiences from the past couple of weeks. Our weekly routine has been pretty much the same with a few variances. So, instead of laying out piece by piece what we have done each day I would simply like to highlight specific events that have stuck with me as well as other continuities that persist afte a month of living in the city.
Most recently is my memory of this past weekend. Thr four of us STMs were able to go on a retreat with the jovenes (young adult) group from church. We went to a retreat center outside of the city leaving Saturday morning and returning Sunday night. We've had opportunities to spend time with the jovenes over the past few weeks so it was good to be able to build on those relationships. They have been very accepting of us foreigners and patient with the language barrier. We had beautiful weather so we were able to play outside alot, which yielded good opportunities for bonding. While the weekend was relaxing and fun it has some taxing aspects about it, too, mostly having to do with the language. There were a few teaching sessions where I basically stared off in space or directed my own study time because I had no idea what was being said. And by the end of each day I was so worn out that attempting to communicate in spanish was beyond my ability.
Here raises a continuous struggle. Language has consistently been a stressful and frustrating struggle. There have been many times where I just want to give up and consider it a loss, that I won't learn the language and am tired of trying. I am learning alot in our tutoring sessions and yet it feels as if using this information in daily communication is impossible. I can't understand more than half of what people ask me. At times the struggle has nearly brought me to tears and makes me feel useless. Yet while in no way does it replace the frustration God continues to remind me that He is using me beyond my ability to communicate. He has continually reminded me that He is able to use me with my presence.
A couple that have been good friends of WMF were able to come on the retreat with their three kids. Mary is only 24 with three kids, works all day at a train station begging, and they struggle by going without in everyday life. I want to be able to give so much to them, especially Mary, even to just talk with her. But this weekend I found I was able to really connect with Mary outside of being able to talk with her- throwing a frisbee with her, putting my arm around her, or her putting her head on my shoulder or getting me a slice of pizza. And I absolutely love playing with her kids. In this God shows how He communicates through me, how He is able to create intimacy outside of words, how He is showing me my capability to love outside of speaking it. It is not always obvious, which adds to the struggle of feeling useless, but it is knowing that God is able to work outside of the norm that holds my faith in Him and what is is doing in and through me.
Outside of our daily experiences we've been learning through book studies. Right now we've been going through ¨Friendship at the Margins¨ by Chris Huertz (Exec Director of WMF) and Christine Pohl (from Asbury Seminary). The book lays out the idea of doing missions with friendships as the focus, specifically relationships with the poor. My eyes are being opened more to the potential in ministry and am looking forward to finding more insight in the topics we will read about.
Each week we also have a spiritual formation time focused on varying spiritual practices and disciplines. This past we focused on intimacy, how we experience intimacy with God through solitude and by being with others and in turn how we create intimacy with others. This next week we focus on obedience.
Peanut butter and jelly has also been a constant. While the peanut butter here is hard to find and not the peanut butter like in the states it makes for a simple and consistent meal. I've also grown quite fond of oreos.
Our team likes to play cards and it tends to be a frequent activity in our down time and get togethers. I have yet to teach the team double deck bid euchre, which is the game frequently played in my family, but they won't last long until they are exposed to the best card game ever!
Forgive me for ending abruptly but I need to end my internet session. before my next blog I will attempt to do more journaling in order to keep better trakc of my thoughts and experiences. Until then feel free to post any question you may have about my experience or Argentine culture and I will tend to those in my next blog. I am doing well and growing well. Your continued prayers are appreciated.
much love and blessings